The Social Construct of Showering :-) From the Archive 2017


So while the world is going to hell in a hand basket, our President is leaving innane notes at Yad Vashem which might have appeared in any high school yearbook.  In response to Manchester he pulled out the worst epitaph he could find in his limited vocabulary to characterize those responsible for targeting children and teenage girls – he called them “losers.”

Meanwhile here in America we had an important survey last week.

We wanted to know if, when you shower do you stand facing the water nozzle or turn your back to it?

“It might not be a topic that’s literally ever crossed your mind until this very moment, but it turns out this question unlocks a shockingly heated debate and can leave you wondering, do you ever really know anyone?”

“For the TODAY newsroom at NBC, this all started a few months ago when producer Zoe Marcus returned to the office from a family vacation, her world rocked by a conversation she’d had around the family dinner table.

Her father, who was heading into cataract surgery, expressed concern about the aftermath and how would he shower when he wasn’t supposed to get his face wet.

What do you mean, his family asked. You don’t put your face directly into the water do you?  Why yes, Wally Marcus replied. Of course he put his face directly into the water!  Didn’t everybody?

As the Marcus family found out that night and as we all later found out when Zoe posed this question to the office (throwing it into pandemonium) there are two types of people in the world: the nozzle-facers and those who face away. (There is also a smaller third category of “spinners” those who rotate direction throughout their showers but apparently most people fell decisively into the first or second camp.)

The crazy part is, nozzle facers assume everyone is a nozzle facer, and face-away-ers assume everyone faces away.  Wives were shocked to learn that while they faced away from the nozzle, their husbands laughed at them and told them they were totally wrong.

“I don’t even know you!”

“Men, it seemed, were more likely to prefer putting their faces directly into the water, apparently unbothered by water in their eyes and noses, while more women seemed to prefer facing away.”

Few people apparently ever thought about this before, ever, and every single person was shocked to learn that showers could be done differently than the way they’d been showering. (There’s an analogy to be made somewhere in here about our current political climate…But we’ll leave that for another time.)

“The great Shower-Facing Question, dormant for centuries, has inexplicably bubbled up in recent months, blowing lots of minds along the way.It surfaced as a “conundrum” at a Slate Culture Gabfest (at which the audience seemed split between the three personality types), a Reddit thread, and even became the subject of articles by Bustle and Sports Illustrated (where, I was happy to find, facing away from the shower is enjoying a comfortable lead in their poll)”

.Of course there are other interesting questions concerning the mechanics of showering .

For example, do you simply wash with a bar of soap, rubbing it all over your body as the water cascades on you (front or back!) or do you soap up a wash or face cloth and use that to wash the sweat and grime off of your person?

Do you shave before showering or do you shave in the shower?

I’m sure all of you have strong opinions on these questions and you undoubtedly consider anyone who doesn’t do it your way simply wrong and ill bred.

I for one face away from the nozzle although many years ago I recall facing directly into the nozzle.  And while I used to shave in the shower (it saved time in the military when there were too many men and too few mirrors) I no longer do.  I now shave before I get into the shower.  And I for one only use a bar of soap; but then of course I live alone and don’t have to share it with anyone.

We could ask if you pee in the shower but we won’t go there.

How about you ?

And the final question of the day : when you’re putting on your shoes is it sock, sock, shoe, shoe or is it sock, shoe, sock, shoe?  And which foot is first?

I am waiting for a study indicating that determining such information can predict how people will vote.


About toritto

I was born during year four of the reign of Emperor Tiberius Claudius on the outskirts of the empire in Brooklyn. I married my high school sweetheart, the girl I took to the prom and we were together for forty years until her passing in 2004. We had four kids together and buried two together. I had a successful career in Corporate America (never got rich but made a living) and traveled the world. I am currently retired in the Tampa Bay metro area and live alone. One of my daughters is close by and one within a morning’s drive. They call their pops everyday. I try to write poetry (not very well), and about family. Occasionally I will try a historical piece relating to politics. :-)
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1 Response to The Social Construct of Showering :-) From the Archive 2017

  1. beetleypete says:

    I can break this thread, as I still prefer a bath every day. We do have a very efficient power shower, but I never use it! If I have no alternative, (hotels, staying at a friend’s) I face the shower every time. I always shave after bath or shower. The hot water will have raised and softened the bristles on my face.
    Both socks on before any shoes, then right shoe first, for as long as I can recall. (That said, from March to October, I don’t wear socks, as I have shorts on. Uness attending a formal occasion of course)
    Best wishes, Pete. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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