Incels and Soy Boys

Elliot Rodger – self identified Incel

Anyone remember Isla Vista?

Yes I know; there have been so many mass murders nowadays that that it is difficult to recall one back in the spring of 2014.   I wrote about it back then.

It was the first one committed by a young self-identified male “Incel” – the “involuntarily celibate.”  We’ve had several more since then.

Six young people, between 19 and 22 years old, were gunned down by Elliot Rodger,  a mentally ill young man who had absolutely no problem buying three semi-automatic hand guns and 400 rounds of ammo.

The killer’s 141 page “manifesto” revealed a monumental sense of entitlement, an obsession with clothes and “looking good”, being accepted by the “cool kids”, playing World of Warcraft  and getting a “hot” blond girlfriend for sex.

He was the well off son of the media; his father a Director of “The Hunger Games”.  His mother also worked in the industry.  His step-mother appeared in the French version of “Housewives”.  He was also the product of divorce, spending several alternating weeks with mom and his re-married dad.  He never wanted for cool clothes, game boxes, computers, a BMW.

He walked red carpets, flew “Upper Class” on Virgin Atlantic to London and France, Malaysia and Morocco.  He was obsessed with World of Warcraft, masturbation and porn.  He wanted a “hot girl” for sex.

He never got one.  He began to rage on Youtube about how those “blond bitches” threw themselves at “jerks” and not at him.  He began to buy guns.

Elliot Rodger really was alone.  His parents shuffled him off to summer camps, overseas trips; moved him around to different schools when he cried that he was unhappy.  He took up skate boarding just to fit in with the “cool kids” but that only worked for awhile.

He did not fit in – and nobody cared enough to get him the help he needed.  Toward the end his mom began to worry, concerned about his Facebook rants.  She called the cops, who came to his apartment to check him out.  He was polite and seemed fine.  The guns and ammo were in the closet.  Nobody checked.

Just before the killings he made a video – a movie – which seemed scripted, even with planned laughs between his promise to kill “sorority “bitches”.  He made a movie just like his dad.

Several months ago herein Florida Scott Beierle, a 40 year old man murdered 2 women and injured 5 others at a yoga studio, publicly identifying with Elliot Rodger, the self proclaimed Incel.

And this was not the first time.

Earlier this year, Alex Minassian drove a van into a pedestrian area of Toronto to target women because of his own sexual frustration.  Back in 2009 George Soldini went on a killing spree at a fitness center in Pennsylvania because of his struggles finding a girlfriend and having sex.  And even when these frustrated men don’t engage in literal violence, there are countless women who can attest to being harassed online or in person by individuals who feel bitter about a sexual world that seems to reject them.

In each of these cases these men were made to feel inadequate by the American concept of masculinity.  Conservatives mock the phrase “toxic masculinity” but it is a useful turn of phrase to describe a set of feelings in our culture on what it means to be a man.  Men who cannot meet the “ideal” are shamed, characterized as “losers,” mocked by society and think they are doomed to be alone.

Many of these men gather online on sites such as Reddit and complain about being single – and the belief that they not at fault – that they are “involuntarily celibate” because of women.  In the echo chamber of these web sites that belief is reinforced.

It is hard to change an Incel’s mind particularly when he has made being incel the core of his identity.  One must first get him to abandon the reinforcement of the chat rooms and get out into the world to see it as it really is and to consider that perhaps it is his attitude and not a few inches of bone that is keeping him single.

Too many however seem to think that not only is attempting to change futile – it is wrong – because his situation is the fault of women.

Is this old fashioned misogyny; simply a hatred of women?

I’m not a shrink, but I don’t think so.

This is a sense of entitlement and a desire to control.

A lot of people think misogyny is simply a blind hatred of women.  It is not.  It is a form of entitlement and control which reasons that women are put on earth to serve men; that’s what they exist for, right?  And when they fail to do that to  certain men”s specifications, they  gets angry with her.  Kind of like a customer gets angry with a waiter if he perceives he has received poor service.

Its all supposed to be like the porn they watch – all the women are “hot”, pliant, submissive, shaved, available and do exactly as they are told, existing only for your pleasure.

Many Incels think that they are customers in a free market economic system.

A good analogy would be going shopping at a store.  I expect a good selection as I am very selective about what I want.  I want to buy a flower pot but if all of the pots are not to my liking I am disappointed.  I’ll leave and just say to myself its ok – they just didn’t have the flower pot I wanted.  I’m disappointed but everyone accepts that right?

Now suppose I found the perfect pot I wanted and went up to the cashier and put my money on the counter.  “We won’t take your money sir!  You’re not good enough  to shop here!”  Everyone would think that is discriminatory.

The store is a business – now think of dating that way.  Incels think of women as objects to be selected and the “owner” – in this case the woman herself has no right to be selective about who is buying.  The object should be available to all comers at the same price.

This is the sort of mentality which cannot be reasoned or compromised with.  For Incels who look at the world through this filter, the only option is for them to be told – emphatically and unequivocally – that they are wrong.  If they can accept that then the part of them which doesn’t want to be lonely can be listened to.

While we are on the subject of toxic masculinity we can also address the latest right wing meme of “Soy Boy.”

“The soy boy is a feminist, nonathletic, has never been in a fight, will probably marry the first girl that has sex with him and likely reduces all his arguments to labeling the opposition as “Nazis.” See also: cuck, beta/omega male, orbiter, kissless virgin, male feminist.”

Heehee.  Sounds a lot like me!    🙂

James Allsup, a nationalist podcaster who attended the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, posted a very strange satirical video titled “HOW TO JOIN ANTIFA” to his YouTube channel in early July. It has multiple mentions of soy milk.

“You’ve probably gone your whole life drinking milk, right?” Allsup jokingly asks the camera. “But you’ve been drinking the fascist, white supremacist, white neo-Nazi milk.”

“This?” he says, grabbing a gallon from the display case. “This is Nazi. This is whole milk. This is bad for you, can’t drink this anymore. To be a successful antifa soldier, you have to become a soy boy.”

Allsup mockingly praises the imagined side effects of drinking soy milk, including filling you “full of estrogen,” blocking “all your testosterone” and getting “rid of your internalized misogyny and white supremacy.”

Later, Allsup jokes that “straight soy” will “give you a nice effeminate body” with “nice, good, effeminate features.”

“There is no doubt that decreasing testosterone levels among American men are causing them to behave in childish and feminine ways. This is most clearly displayed in the “soy boy face” pose that combines the feelings of excitement and fear into one faggotized package” says Daryush Valizadeh, another crazed right wing blogger.  He goes on to post 36 photos of open mouth (thus feminized) surprised and excited men and women. 

A “soy boy” according to Daryush – he doesn’t look lonely to me!

He describes his blog – Return of Kings – as a blog “for heterosexual, masculine men. It’s meant for a small but vocal collection of men in America today who believe men should be masculine and women should be feminine.”

“ROK aims to usher the return of the masculine man in a world where masculinity is being increasingly punished and shamed in favor of creating an androgynous and politically-correct society that allows women to assert superiority and control over men. Sadly, yesterday’s masculinity is today’s misogyny. The site intends to be a safe space on the web for those men who don’t agree with the direction that Western culture is headed.”

Perhaps Daryush doesn’t realize that too many of his readers are virgins sitting in their parents basement.

The Soy Boys are all out on dates.




About toritto

I was born during year four of the reign of Emperor Tiberius Claudius on the outskirts of the empire in Brooklyn. I married my high school sweetheart, the girl I took to the prom and we were together for forty years until her passing in 2004. We had four kids together and buried two together. I had a successful career in Corporate America (never got rich but made a living) and traveled the world. I am currently retired in the Tampa Bay metro area and live alone. One of my daughters is close by and one within a morning’s drive. They call their pops everyday. I try to write poetry (not very well), and about family. Occasionally I will try a historical piece relating to politics. :-)
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6 Responses to Incels and Soy Boys

  1. beetleypete says:

    This particular social labelling hasn’t reached the UK yet. But given the power of Facebook, it won’t be long. Sadly.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such an important discussion! This reminds me of the video “Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity” produced by Dr. Jackson Katz ( I remember the powerful impact his first video (1999) had for the young men in a class I taught years ago.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow. Because I spend less time online than most people I learn of these things somewhat late.

    We really have messed things up. While growing up I had a vivid imagination and used to write crazy stories and draw weird comic strips about things I observed in life – but I could never have imagined some of the things that are becoming “real life” (or unreal life?)

    There are so many issues to address that relate to this, too many to list. We have a lot of work to do to end the indoctrination which strengthens the many factors contributing to this sickness. We need a movement that encourages compassion, integrity, strength and courage instead of focusing on possessions, control and fleeting fame (infamy).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Memarge says:

    My goodness! How sad for those men and their victims! Yuk!


  5. Antifa Feminazi says:

    American men are being feminized, but these incels are messed up in their thinking. A real man doesn’t need a woman to validate his masculinity. Needing a woman so they can feel like a man is weakness.


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